Hopefully, Stoner Prairie Elementary has prepared Emme Luther for the pressures of a late-season lead. With Thanksgiving around the corner, her Mike Ditka pick has put her in position to win the family Death Pool. At 86, the Bears legend was worth 14 points, and Emme’s piggy bank is already standing by for the $280 prize. It has one slot and a strict no-withdrawals policy!
Did Stoner Prairie give Emme an edge? Perhaps there was a sports motivation unit between reading groups and recess. Ditka himself had a line for it.
“Success isn’t permanent, and failure isn’t fatal.”
— Mike Ditka
But was it fatal? The league office has reviewed the play. The 14 points stand.
Emme still has to run out the clock, of course. Nobody’s engraving the trophy yet. This is a league where a late scratch can put you on the scoreboard, and the only safe lead is the one you have after the deadline.
Around the league
In other sports news, Brad Milsap drafted Bob Uecker in 2024 but let the pick go instead of rolling it over. Uecker died at 90, which would have been good for 10 points in the 2025 pool. For anyone doing the cross-season math, that still falls four points shy of Ditka. Brad’s pick was juuuust a bit outside.
The 2027 draft
We’re looking forward to another year of well-researched picks. The deadline is noon on Thanksgiving Day, so get your paperwork in before the turkey is pronounced done.
Coming to Thanksgiving? Make your pick and pay your $5 in person.
Joining in spirit? Send your $5 and two or three ranked choices with someone who’ll be there. If your first choice is taken by the time your draft slot comes up, your stand-in will have a backup. Think of it as an advance directive for your draft.
2026 picks
| Name | 2026 Pick |
|---|---|
| Aaron Lehmann | Morgan Freeman |
| Aaron Veum | Andy Dick |
| Abby Behling | Frankie Valli |
| Abby Zoladkiewicz | Kentrell Gaulden |
| Adam Iberg | Steven Tyler |
| Aiden Schallep | Mel Brooks |
| Alise Wasserburger | Gary Busey |
| Amanda Lipski | R. Kelly |
| Amanda Veum | Tara Reid |
| Ava Lehmann | Elton John |
| Barb Luther | Johnny Depp |
| Beth Bremer | Keith Richards |
| Chad Ulrich | Bill Cosby |
| Donna Hommen | William Shatner |
| Duane Rue | Cher |
| Eliza Johnson | Ghislaine Maxwell |
| Ellen Joyce | Ilhan Omar |
| Emme Luther | Mike Ditka |
| Eric Zerneke | Robert De Niro |
| Gary Zibell | Harvey Weinstein |
| Gary Zmania | Dick Van Dyke |
| Gillian Ulrich | Shia LaBeouf |
| Grace Leto | Jack Nicholson |
| Greg Luther | Kash Patel |
| James Imhoff | Ric Flair |
| Jan Jarlsberg | Richard Dreyfuss |
| Joan Zerneke | George W. Bush |
| Joe Leto | Candace Owens |
| Joe Luther | Joey Chestnut |
| Karen Day | Mama June |
| Katie Luther | Benjamin Netanyahu |
| Kayleigh Cleary | Joe Rogan |
| Kevin Luther | Elon Musk |
| Kia Kienitz | Travis Barker |
| Laura Zibell | Sam Waterston |
| Leah Zoladkiewicz | Sharon Osbourne |
| Margie Ulrich | Mary Lou Retton |
| Marti Kojis | Mike Tyson |
| Mike Johnson | Prince Andrew |
| Mike Zoladkiewicz | Brian Johnson |
| Monica Veum | Terry Bradshaw |
| Mya Lehmann | Al Pacino |
| Nancy Borchert | Charlie Sheen |
| Pam Ziarnik | Chris Rock |
| Randy Johnson | Travis Scott |
| Renee Johnson | Alec Baldwin |
| Rob Fed | Vladimir Putin |
| Robby Zibell | Kanye West |
| Roman Leto | Sylvester Stallone |
| Ryan Behling | Clint Eastwood |
| Stef Fed | Corey Feldman |
| Tara Luther | Paula Abdul |
| Tom Luther | Bret Bielema |
| Travis Ulrich | Donald Trump |
| Trevor Leto | Nancy Pelosi |
Winners’ Circle
| Year | Winner | Pick | Age | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2009 | Zib | Michael Jackson | 50 | 50 |
| 2010 | Gillian Ulrich | Amy Winehouse | 27 | 73 |
| 2011 | Zib | Steve Jobs | 56 | 44 |
| 2012 | Shutout | — | — | — |
| 2013 | Sarah West | Joan Rivers | 81 | 19 |
| 2014 | Shutout | — | — | — |
| 2015 | Shutout | — | — | — |
| 2016 | Shutout | — | — | — |
| 2017 | Grace Leto | Mary Tyler Moore | 80 | 20 |
| 2018 | Zib | Burt Reynolds | 82 | 18 |
| 2019 | Joe Leto | Ginger Baker | 80 | 20 |
| 2020 | Ava Lehman | Hugh Downs | 99 | 1 |
| 2021 | Trevor Leto | Larry King | 87 | 13 |
| 2022 | Roman Leto | Queen Elizabeth II | 96 | 4 |
| 2023 | Leah Zoladkiewicz | Matthew Perry | 54 | 46 |
| 2024 | Kevin Luther | Yahya Sinwar | 61 | 39 |
| 2025 | Trevor Leto | Dick Cheney | 84 | 16 |
| 2026 | TBD | Mike Ditka, current lead | 86 | 14 |
The 2027 rules
Your pick must already be a celebrity. Posthumous fame doesn’t count.
Death row inmates are ineligible, even in states that don’t carry out executions.
You cannot kill anyone on your list. The pool is a spectator sport.
Your celebrity must be alive when you post your pick.
Your celebrity must be human. The family dog is safe from the draft.
A celebrity already diagnosed with a terminal illness is ineligible. Under the pool’s 2018 ruling, an AIDS diagnosis disqualifies new picks, while existing picks were grandfathered in. The 2023 ruling also made dementia a disqualifying diagnosis under the pool’s life-limiting illness rule.
Your score is 100 minus the celebrity’s age at death. A death at 50 earns 50 points. A death at 80 earns 20.
Picks and entry fees are due by noon on Thanksgiving Day.
If the pool rolls over and you didn’t enter the previous year, you owe both years’ entry fees and get one pick.
Your pick must be able to speak. Unborn babies and people in comas are ineligible.
You must be paid up to win.
Whoever holds a pick has first refusal on keeping it, even if someone dies.
